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Larry Burton (Something only a Retired Preacher Could Come Up With)

Ramblings of an Ole' Man
A Wonderful Day in the Neighborhood
I am so lucky, Tuesday went to GI doctor to check on why I was so bloated. I had begun to think I was pregnant and it had to be immaculant conception. I wanted the doctor to tell me how the baby would come out, if pregnant. I began to imagine all the publicity I would get, but, as usual, my dreams were dashed! I was not pregnant and the doctor want ... ed to scope my colon to make sure nothing was wrong.
On Wednesday, I had the joy of being scoped from the front and the back. It was so exciting and I got a good nap out of it. Wonderful way to spend a Wednesday afternoon. Oh, by the way, the stuff you have to drink is so delicious and it works as it is supposed to work.
After the pleasurable experience of being scoped, I woke up and felt fine. I was told that my colon was in good shape and got to look at some pictures of myself. I was tempted to post a few of them but decided not to. I was given some probiotics to take and I should be fine in a few weeks. The nurse gave me instructions to not drive, don't make any big decisions, no alcohol. I listened carefully and realized immediately that the likelyhood of following/remembering these rules was between 0 and -100. short length mother of the bride or groom collections
As soon as I was released I got in the car and ran some errands. I felt fine so no problem. Then I went looking for a toy and bought one. Two out of three directions ignored. Then went for dinner at a little bar, that has the best sandwiches and onion rings in the world. Of course, I had to have one small beer.
At the end of the day I was proud of myself for successfully ignoring all the rules and not hurting myself or anyone else. Wow, being old makes things so easy. I could just blame my forgetfulness on not doing what I was told to do! Now if you are under 69 then you have to follow the rules, but after 69....
Larry

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