Some wonderful Women decided this evening that more Men should wear bow ties. We agreed that Men do and all others are afraid to be Men and would rather dress like ten-year-old boys.
Bow ties are not just for proms and your testosterone level will not decrease if you wear a bow tie...in fact you will be considered to be smarter than you are by Women ... Just wear a bow tie and learn how to listen. Apparently Women love it when you just shut the hell up for a minute.
And turn off your damn phone -
And there you are, not that damn important at seven o'clock after nine bud lites that you got for half price during happy hour and now you just spent $27.00 and you're broke and you're not going to tip your bartender because you weren't raised well enough and even though you are only one of fifty just like you who have been hitting on her you haven't got a chance because your last real girlfriend was that calf you left in Iowa (or some other fly-over) and even little Betsy was smarter than you and that makes you mad so you have to leave and there's this guy in the corner with a bow tie and ... Fuck! He's with TWO Women and they're laughing and drinking clear stuff out if fancy glasses and what the fuck does he have that you don't have ... WTF!
SO ... you wait outside because that lite beer us so much stronger than the nearbeer back home and you're starting to think of the barn and good ol' Betsy (bless her heart!) when out walks bow tie guy lighting a cigarette and you just gotta tell him what a piece of namby pamby crap he is with his fancy drink and TWO laughing, happy Women and his shined shoes and bow tie and what he would do with TWO Women like that if it weren't for wimpy mf's like you to get in the way. Because you recognize the type and the hate and the situation, you offer to call an Uber to get the poor guy to Williamsburg and back to his people but he sees that as somewhat less than helpful and thinks swinging at you is a better choice which is the wrong choice because all you have to do is step into the swing, give a little push and Betsy's boyfriend is kissing the sidewalk. prom party wears decorated With rhinestone
Am I OK, the Women ask.
Yes. But I'm going to head uptown.
Thanks for the drinks, they say.
That's such a cool bow tie!
I step over Betsy's boyfriend on my way over to Madison to catch a cab home.
It's not even the weekend and I swear the hucksters are already out.